Feb, 2017 – I was walking to Harvard Square for my first ever appointment with a counsellor. On my way I ran into a friend and she enquired where I was headed. I told her I was headed to the University Health Services to see a doctor for my sprain.
Why did I lie? There were a myriad of reasons. At the heart of it, I was grappling with two questions:
- Am I entitled? I had a great life. I was well-adjusted to the academic and social life at school; had a wide group of friends; had a great post-MBA job lined up. Nothing was obviously wrong. Sure, I had been feeling more anxious than usual. But that’s not a real problem, is it?
- Am I weak? Maybe I was facing a real problem. Does that just mean that I was weak; or at least weaker than my social circle? Everyone else seemed perfectly fine.
With the benefit of hindsight, I was neither entitled nor weak. Anxiety had caused me to lose sleep and focus for several weeks. If my hypothetical sprain had hindered my life in a similar way, I wouldn’t have thought twice about seeing a doctor.
I wish we could talk about mental health in the same way that we discuss a sprain. This would go a long way in ensuring that people don’t spend weeks, months, and even years wondering if they are too entitled or too weak to be thinking about their mental health. You aren’t living your full life when you are in such a state – I know I wasn’t.
If you are facing a mental health challenge, try and perceive it in the same way as a physical health challenge. That holds true for engaging with friends and family facing such challenges as well. One of the least helpful pieces of advice is to ask the person to get over it.
Going back to my story, I saw a counsellor regularly for a few months. He was a great support and together we explored many approaches for dealing with my chronic anxiety. Some of these approaches didn’t work for me. Others did.
While it’s best to see a specialist to identify the methods most-appropriate for your situation, here are some approaches that could be beneficial in a wide range of circumstances:
1. Books – I love frameworks and books often provide those. Self-Compassion, The Miracle of Mindfulness and Designing your Life are some of my favorite books
2. Mindfulness Meditation – I found this format of meditation most appealing because it puts a specific focus on avoiding the traps of perfection and allows me to ‘meditate’ in a wide variety of situations e.g., while walking, during my commute. I have personally found Headspace a great resource for mindfulness
3. Writing – Writing helps me see things more objectively and avoid catastrophic outlooks to the problem in my life.
Finally, one of my biggest realizations has been that there isn’t a quick-fix solution to mental health challenges. It takes ongoing effort. But if one commits to it, it has wide-ranging impacts on the quality of life including, but not limited to, better sleep and better physical health. I am committed to prioritizing my mental health and doing my bit for making it a mainstream issue.
